- "Stop air-blasting me, STOP!"
- "Hit that sub button."
- "Gaming is who we are, it's what we do."
- "Watch out for raccoons, and all that."
- "You did good, hitting that button."
- "All's fair in love and smash."
- "He's old! (whispering to the viewers about Uncle Larry)"
- "The showboat has sailed; let's continue." (Chillin & Grillin - Chicken Wings)
- "You shouldn't drink and drive!"
- "(singing) what do we get, a COPYRIGHT!"
- "You want mac' and cheese you are getting your own."
- "(Referring To Mac and Cheese) "One for now and one for Friday because it's Friday"."
- "Oh that's gay."
- "Aw crap"
- "You know, only if I get the compensation."
- "(at his cousin Jesse) Shut up! Just shut up!"
- "I'm not gonna be silenced anymore!"
- "CAN YOU STOP SNIVELING FOR TEN GODDAMN SECONDS?!?!"
- "(Kicking Jesse out of the Abraham Household) He's my father, I'm his son. Not you! So you know what would be best? If you just leave!"
- You know, Jess. I used to look up to you. Now, I don't even want to look at you. Now do us all a favor and don't come back!
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