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This is the transcript for Psycho Kid Smashes TV.

Transcript

(the video opens with Jeffrey walking towards Jesse and his friend Buzz, who are sitting on the couch and appear to be looking down at something)

Jeffrey: Hey, what are you guys up to?

Jesse: Not right now!

(Jeffrey pretends to turn around and leave)

Jeffrey: Oh, okay I'll leave.

(he quickly turns back around)

Jesse: Are you kidding me?

Buzz: He has a fucking camera.

Jesse: Could you just not have that fucking camera on for once!?

Jeffrey: Why, what do you got? There's something in your hands.

(he tries to get a peek at what they're looking at)

Jesse: We're just talking.

Jeffrey: Oh, you're talking over his crotch. Sure.

(Jeffrey tries to reach for what Jesse's holding)

Jesse: Get the fuck...What are you doing!? Get the...

(Jeffrey gets ahold of the item, which turns out to be a Gameboy Advance SP, and starts walking away with it)

Jeffrey: What is this?

Buzz: Come on, dude. That's my SP.

Jesse: That's not even mine.

Jeffrey: Oh, it's a Gameboy SP.

Jesse: It's not even mine! So whatever you're gonna do with it, just don't fucking do it!

Jeffrey: I'm not gonna do anything!

(he walks outside with it, with Jesse and Buzz following him)

Jesse: Oh, you're not gonna do anything!? You're going outside with it in the rain!

Jeffrey: No, I'm not gonna to do anything to it.

Jesse: If you break that...

Jeffrey: I mean, Dad might do something to it, but...*chuckles*

Jesse: If you break my shit, that's fine. Just don't touch his dude!

Jeffrey: I'm not gonna touch anything! I'm just gonna let Dad deal with everything!

(he walks through the front door and into the dining room where Jeff Sr. is as Jesse and Buzz continue arguing with him)

Jeffrey: Hey Dad!

Jeff Sr.: What?

Jeffrey: I, uh...found something in uh...Jesse's possession.

(he holds the Gameboy up to Jeff Sr.)

Jeff Sr.: What is it?

Jeffrey: Uh, well I'll just let you look at it.

(he hands the Gameboy to Jeff Sr.)

Jesse: Dad. Dad, look. It's not like that. Buzz brought that over here. We were just playing.

Buzz: I take full responsibility.

Jesse: We were just playing. We were...

Buzz: It's my fault.

Jeff Sr.: Buzz, stay out of it. It has nothing to do with you. 

Jesse: Look, it was his. It was his game. I did...*stutters*...I was not playing-

Jeff Sr.: You disrespected me!

Jesse: I didn't...what?

Jeff Sr.: You disrespected me! You were grounded for two weeks cause of this, when you shred your games!

Jesse: That's not mine! That's Buzz's! He brought it over!

Jeff Sr.: Did you play it!? Did you play it!?

Jesse: No!

Jeff Sr.: Don't lie, did you play it!?

Jesse: I didn't fu...I didn't play it! I know I'm grounded, I know! I know I'm not allowed to play what I love!

Buzz: It's...It's my fault, Mr. Ridgway.

Jeff Sr.: Buzz, stay out of it. Seriously, it has nothing to do with you, don't let him draw you in.

Jesse: Don't talk to him like that, he's my best friend!

Jeff Sr.: Did you play it!? Did you play it!?

Jesse: I played it! Yeah!

Jeff Sr.: Alright then!

Jesse: Will you...

(Jeff Sr. tosses the Gameboy on the floor)

Jesse: Don't fucking throw that!

Jeff Sr.: You disrespected me!

Jesse: That's his property! That's his!

Jeff Sr.: That was your fault! If it...if it was broken, you buy it!

Jesse: See, you don't make any sense! You can't just destroy things and expect everything to be better. That's not a way to handle it!

(he picks up the Gameboy)

Jeff Sr.: What are you talking about!? Destruction!? About your video games!? I paid for all of them!

Jesse: Yeah!

Jeff Sr.: I paid for all of them!

Jesse: You paid for all of them!?

Jeff Sr.: Yeah! Over the years I've paid for all of them!

Jesse: Bullshit! Bullshit! Did you pay for Buzz's Gameboy!?

Jeff Sr.: No, you're gonna pay for that! Because you're the one who wasn't supposed to be playing it and now you're playing it!

Jesse: Here, Buzz.

(he tosses the Gameboy to Buzz)

Jeff Sr.: You disrespected me...I asked you to stop playing...

Jesse: I disrespected you!? I disrespected you!? You disrespect me all the time!

Jeff Sr.: How!?

Jesse: You...you don't listen to what I say! When I say I want to be a gamer, you gotta believe that! You believe in your kid!

Jeff Sr.: I do believe in my kid, but you gotta make money...

Jesse: (angered) That's what I want to...

(he walks around the room confused for a second, then grabs a baseball bat by the fireplace)

Jesse: That's what I wanna do!

Jeffrey: Woah! Woah, woah, woah, woah...

Jesse: That's what I wanna fucking do!

Buzz: Jesse! Easy...

Jesse: Don't fucking say anything, Buzz! This is my thing!

Jeff Sr.: What are you going to do? Hit me with it? Is that what you wanna do?

Jesse: Kind of, yeah!

(pause)

Jeff Sr.: Is that what you really want?

Jesse: No!

Jeff Sr.: Because if anything happens, you're out the door!

Jesse: No, no! All I want is some fucking respect just like you, right!?

(pause)

Jeff Sr.: It's all...

Jesse: Right!?

Jeff Sr.: It's all I've ever given you.

Jesse: I'm gonna destroy this fucking TV because that's...you love that more than you love me!

Jeffrey: Ouch.

Jeff Sr.: That's bullshit, and you know that.

(Jesse threatens to smash the TV)

Jeffrey: And do not do that...

Jeff Sr.: Now calm down.

Jesse: I will do it. I'm not going to fucking calm down...

Jeffrey: (quietly) Oh, god damn it...

(pause)

Jeff Sr.: Do what you gotta do...

(Jesse stands for a few seconds and contemplates whether or not he should do it)

Jeffrey: (whispering) Do not do it.

(Jesse smashes the TV with the bat)

Jeffrey: Jesus...

Jesse: Fuck you!

(he tosses the bat on the ground)

Jesse: Fuck this family!

Jeff Sr.: What the hell was that all about! Now get out of my house!

Jesse: Buzz, come on!

Jeff Sr.: Get out!

(Jesse and Buzz walk out the front entrance, Jeffrey follows them as Jeff Sr. inspects the damage to the TV)

Jesse: *weeps*

Jeff Sr.: Crap! Bullshit!

Jesse: *screams*

Jeff Sr.: Frig...frig...crap!

Jeffrey: Holy fuck.

(Jeffrey walks outside and closes the door, he approaches Jesse and Buzz, the former of which is starting to cry, regretting his actions)

Jeffrey: Holy shit.

Buzz: What the fuck are we going to do?

Jesse: Dude, I don't know. I'm fucking screwed, dude!

(pause)

Jesse: I just destroyed his fucking TV...

Buzz: Easy, dude, it's alright. 

Jesse: I can't...I can't stay in there. I can't stay in there. You know I can't stay in there.

Jeffrey: Yeah, I don't...you shouldn't have...

Jesse: He's gonna fucking kill me if I...I can't live here, dude!

Jeffrey: I mean, you shouldn't have done that.

Buzz: It's alright, you can come...

Jesse: Well...

Buzz: You can come with me dude...

Jesse: (to Jeffrey) It's easy for you to say! You're not the one getting your shit broken all the time!

Buzz: Dude, you can live with me, dude. I have plenty of space in my house, alright?

Jesse: (weeping) Dude, I don't want to...I don't want to live anywhere...

Jeffrey: Ah, fuck.

(pause)

Jesse: Just fucking...can we go, can we go somewhere?

Buzz: Come on.

Jesse: Can we just fucking go somewhere, dude?

(they get inside Buzz's truck)

Jeffrey: I'll try and talk to him.

(Jesse walks away from truck)

Jesse: I-I hope...I hope...I hope you're happy! Okay!? I hope you're happy you got a great fucking video! Whoop-dee-fucking-doo! Let's get millions of views!

(he gets back into the truck)

Jesse: Thanks for being there!

Jeffrey: I'll try and talk to Dad, okay!?

Jesse: Yeah, oh yeah! Try and talk to him after you just got his like thousand dollar TV broke!

Jeffrey: Well, I mean I didn't do it.

Jesse: Alright, Buzz, just shut the door. Just shut the door.

(Buzz shuts the door to his truck as the video ends)

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