This is the transcript for Psycho Dad Flattens Gaming Lair.
Transcript
(the video opens with Jeffrey exiting Jesse's tent with the camera, Jesse is attempting to get it back)
Jesse: Give me that shit!
Jeffrey: Give me that fucking camera!
Jesse: Asshole! That's mine! Give me that shit!
(Jesse spots something in the distance)
Jesse: Dad!? Dad!
(Jesse starts running towards his father, who is driving a backhoe and is about to run over the tent)
Jeffrey: What the...?
Jesse: Dad! Hey! Stop! Stop! You're not...!
Jeffrey: The hell...? Oh shit!
(Jeffrey gets closer to get a better view)
Jesse: Dad! I worked hard for this shit!
Jeff Sr.: Get out of the way.
Jesse: I'm not moving!
Jeffrey: Holy shit.
Jesse: I'm not moving!
(he takes off his jacket and throws it at the backhoe, causing Jeffrey to laugh)
Jeff Sr.: Get out of the way.
Jesse: I'm not moving! No!
Jeffrey: Fucking Tianamen Square over here!
Jeff Sr.: You disrespect me! You use my electricity!
Jeffrey: Ow, fuck!
Jeff Sr.: What else are you going-
Jesse: It's our electricity! I built this from the ground up!
Jeff Sr.: I don't care, Jess! You don't have a job!
Jesse: *stutters* Yeah, I make videos for a living! Do you understand that!?
Jeffrey: Oh my god. *laughs*
Jeff Sr.: You don't have anything but a tent!
Jesse: So!? That's because of you!
Jeff Sr.: Well I...
Jesse: Because you won't let me live there!
Jeff Sr.: I gotta put you out of it!
(he continues driving the backhoe towards the tent)
Jesse: Dad!
Jeff Sr.: You gotta move!
Jesse: Dad! Stop! Stop!
(Jeff Sr. ignores him, and continues to drive towards the tent)
Jesse: Keep on...Dad, come on!
Jeff Sr.: I'm sorry...
Jesse: Dad, calm down! Can we talk about this!?
Jeff Sr.: No!
Jesse: I'm sorry!
Jeff Sr.: No!
Jesse: I'm sorry about the trophies!
Jeff Sr.: You should've thought about this before you went ahead with it!
Jesse: This isn't fair! Dad!
Jeffrey: Shit...
Jesse: Dad, come on!
(Jeff Sr. starts to lift the plow on the backhoe)
Jeffrey: Oh shit!
(Jeffrey moves towards the entrance of the tent and looks inside)
Jesse: No, please! Please! Dad!
Jeff Sr.: Get out!
Jesse: (running out of the way of the backhoe) Shit! Shit! Fuck!
Jeffrey: Holy shit!
Jesse: Oh fuck! No!
(Jeff Sr. starts to run over the tent)
Jeffrey: Oh my fucking god!
Jesse: No! *screams*
Jeffrey: Holy shit!
(Jeff Sr. flattens the tent with the plow, and runs over it and its contents)
Jeffrey: *laughs*
Jesse: Noooooooooooooooooooooo! Fuck!
(He continues his screaming as Jeff Sr. starts turning the backhoe around to drive back into the backyard)
Jeffrey: Holy shit!
Jeff Sr.: You should've thought about it, Jess!
Jeffrey: Holy shit!
Jesse: Are you fucking crazy!? *screams*
(Jeff Sr. starts driving away)
Jeff Sr.: Now you've got a mobile home! You can leave now!
Jesse: I FUCKING HATE YOU! STOP FILMING!
(he charges at Jeffrey, who backs away)
Jesse: *weeps*
Jeffrey: *laughs*
(Jesse searches the remains of Eagles Landing)
Jesse: Where's the Xbox!? Dad!? Dad!?
(he starts running after Jeff Sr. while screaming)
Jeffrey: (spots an Xbox 360 controller) Holy shit! There's the controller! *laughs*
(Jeffrey realizes something about the contents inside the tent)
Jeffrey: Wait a minute!
(Jesse picks up the Xbox, which is presumably broken)
Jesse: Fuck!
Jeffrey: Was my fucking laptop in there!?
Jesse: YEAH! YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT!?
Jeffrey: Are you fucking kidding me!? You broke my fucking laptop again!?
(Jesse walks back towards the remains of Eagles Landing)
Jesse: Get the fuck out of here, dude!
Jeffrey: Jesus fucking Christ!
Jesse: You knew this was going to happen!
Jeffrey: *chuckles*
Jesse: That's why you're filming! You're always filming! Fucking!
(he throws the Xbox against a tree, smashing it)
Jeffrey: Jesus Christ, dude!
Jesse: (in a mocking tone) Jesus Christ, dude! Oh, like you never got angry before!? Dude you don't even understand! I worked hard!
Jeffrey: Yeah, I fucking-
Jesse: Eagle...That was Eagles Landing. I had...I made the most of it! Could you not...Can you not...Just go fucking...Just...Get out! Did you tell him?
Jeffrey: No, I didn't tell him!
Jesse: For him to come out here?
Jeffrey: No!
(Jesse continues to survey the destruction)
Jeffrey: Jesus...
Jesse: I had bought a brand new...CAN YOU GET THAT FUCKING CAMERA OUT!?
Jeffrey: *laughs*
Jesse: (angered) Fucking give me that shit!
(Jeffrey brings the camera close to Jesse's face)
Jeffrey: It's okay.
Jesse: Do you seriously want me to fucking punch you in the face right now?
Jeffrey: You're okay. You're okay. *chuckles* You're-
Jesse: You are lucky you're bigger than me!
Jeffrey: *chuckles*
Jesse: Seriously, stop fucking filming me!
Jeffrey: I turned it off.
(Jesse gives a look of disbelief)
Jeffrey: It's off! It's off!
Jesse: Bullshit. Bullshit.
(he lifts a blanket to see if anything valuable survived)
Jesse: Great, a fucking Nature Valley Bar. Lovely.
(he throws the bar)
Jeffrey: *laughs*
(Jesse spots something suspicious)
Jesse: What the hell is that?!
Jeffrey: Uh...*laughs*
Jesse: What the fuck is this?!
(he starts walking toward a camera Jeffrey had set up to get a second view of the destruction)
Jeffrey: It's... nothing! *laughs*
Jesse: Oh, it's nothing, huh!?
(he picks up the camera and walks towards Jeffrey with it)
Jesse: You just happen to have a camera on a tri-pod because you KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!
Jeffrey: *laughs* I mean...
Jesse: Oh yeah, it's recording! (high-pitched voice) OH HI! HI JEFFREY!
Jeffrey: *laughs*
Jesse: You know...I'm taking this...I'm taking this fucking footage!
(he steals Jeffrey's camera)
Jesse: I'm taking it all!
(Jeffrey takes the second camera)
Jeffrey: Well, fine! That's why I have two angles.
Jesse: Yeah, alright! Yeah upload that to my channel too!
Jeffrey: I'll make my own fucking channel.
Jesse: Yeah, we know that's gonna happen. You're not gonna get any subscribers, fucker.
(the video ends)