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JesseDrysXbox
This is the transcript for Psycho Dad Drowns Xbox.

Transcript

(The video opens with Jeffrey walking towards the garage)

Jeffrey: So this is where he's been going.

(he approaches Jesse, who is exiting the garage and closing the door)

Jeffrey: Hey, you need any help there?

Jesse: Why are you always filming!?

Jeffrey: What are you doing in there?

Jesse: Nothing. Could you not go in here, please?

Jeffrey: Alright, if it bugs you that much. Jesus Christ, I'll put the camera down.

Jesse: Look, I'm sorry, I just don't...I'm working out in there, and I don't want anyone to see like it looks like there's sweat everywhere and shit.

Jeffrey: Oh, there's a bunch of sweat everywhere!

(he runs to open the garage door before Jesse stops him)

Jesse: Do not go in there! I'm serious!

Jeffrey: Okay!

Jesse: I'm serious.

Jeffrey: Alright.

Jesse: Just don't fucking go in there. I'm just going to poop so I'm going to come back and if I see you in there, I'm going to kill you!

Jeffrey: Alright, fine!

(he attempts to open the door again)

Jesse: Jeffrey!

Jeffrey: What!?

(he closes the door)

Jesse: Like as a brother, could you just be cool for once!? I really have to shit, alright?

Jeffrey: Alright, fine.

Jesse: I'm trusting you!

Jeffrey: Alright, don't sweat your dick off.

(as Jesse walks away, Jeffrey turns back towards the door)

Jeffrey: Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.

(he opens the door and walks inside, finding a TV, an Xbox 360, and a chair guarded by several pieces of cardboard and wood)

Jeffrey: Ohhhhh! He should not be doing this!

(he walks towards a shelf near the TV, turns the camera towards himself, smiles, and sets the camera down)

Jeffrey: (whispering) Alright, he's gonna be in such deep shit!

(he starts to run away, but not before flipping the bird in front of the camera. A piece of cardboard starts to fall over due to the wind made by his running, causing him to briefly look back before he exits the garage, leaving the door open)

(The camera cuts to Jesse re-entering the garage. Thanks to the open door and fallen piece of cardboard, he's able to tell Jeffrey didn't keep his promise)

Jesse: Where the fuck did he go?

(Jesse closes the door, albeit not all the way)

Jesse: Did he touch anything?

(he starts fixing the piece of cardboard)

Jesse: He touched my...

(he starts walking towards the chair)

Jesse: Can't stand him.

(he sits down and resumes his game. The footage of his gaming is sped up for a couple of seconds, before it returns to normal speed as Jeff Sr. enters the garage after discovering that his son has disobeyed him)

Jesse: (as he continues playing) Fuck...

(Jeff Sr. pulls an extension cord out of the wall near the door, shutting the Xbox and TV off)

Jeff Sr.: What the hell are you doing!?

Jesse: What the hell?

(he turns around and sees his father approaching)

Jesse: Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! No! No! No! No! It's not what it looks like!

Jeff Sr.: Yeah, it's not?

(he starts to tear down his gaming lair)

Jesse: You're destroying my stuff!

Jeff Sr.: I told you what not to do in here and you're doing it!

Jesse: You're fucking crazy! Look, don't touch the fucking TV! 

Jeff Sr.: Here!

(he reaches behind the TV and unplugs the Xbox)

Jesse: No Dad!

(Jeff Sr. starts walking out of the garage with the Xbox)

Jeff Sr.: I told you before about this!

Jesse: Dad! Dad!

Jeff Sr.: You made a commitment!

Jesse: You're not gonna destroy another fucking...are you going to destroy that fucking Xbox!?

(they walk outside)

Jeff Sr.: You made an agreement with us and that's that!

Jesse: Look, I was just playing for a little bit! I was playing outside! I was playing outside!

(they walk far enough away so that their speech becomes inaudible. Jeffrey enters the garage and retrieves the camera. He proceeds to run outside after them (while laughing) as they approach the pool).

Jesse: Look, this doesn't solve anything!

Jeff Sr.: You need to learn!

Jesse: Look, that cost money! That's the second Xbox I bought!

Jeff Sr.: (holding the Xbox up to Jesse) If you don't learn from this...

Jesse: I had to buy it off freaking Craigslist!

Jeff Sr.: I don't care!

Jesse: It was Craigslist!

(Jeff Sr. starts opening the gate to the pool)

Jeff Sr.: I don't care. I don't care. 

Jesse: Dad.

Jeff Sr.: (in a more angry voice) I don't care!

Jesse: Dad, what the fuck are you doing!? Dad, I swear to god...

(Jeff Sr. holds the Xbox over the pool)

Jeffrey: Oh shit.

Jesse: If you do this...

Jeff Sr.: What are you gonna do? Seriously, what are you gonna do?

Jesse: I'm going to call...Child Services!

Jeff Sr.: Call somebody, Jess!

Jesse: This isn't right, you can't do this to your child!

Jeff Sr.: Oh! (threatening to drop the Xbox into the pool) Yes I can! You're not listening, you're in my house!

Jesse: Why...

Jeff Sr.: (angry voice) You're not listening!

Jesse: I have a game in there! I have Halo Reach!

Jeff Sr.: You should learn! You made a promise!

Jesse: That means something to me!

Jeffrey: (whispering) Holy shit.

Jeff Sr.: You made a commitment to us, that you wouldn't game until you got a job!

Jesse: I made a commitment to THAT! (points at the Xbox)

Jeffrey: (whispering) How many times are you gonna...

Jesse: I made a commitment-

(Jeff Sr. throws the Xbox into the pool)

Jesse: DAD! DAD!

Jeffrey: Holy shit!

(Jesse jumps into the pool, and starts looking for the Xbox)

Jesse: Where is it!?

Jeffrey: Holy shit.

Jesse: Where is it!? I can't see it!

Jeffrey: *laughs*

Jeff Sr.: You are hopeless. You're stinking hopeless

Jesse: Oh fuck! There it is!

(he dives down to retrieve the Xbox)

Jeffrey: *laughs*

(Jesse comes back up with the Xbox in hand)

Jeffrey: Oh my God.

Jesse: (to Jeff Sr.) Are you fucking crazy!?

Jeffrey: I can't believe that happened! *laughs*

Jeff Sr.: Learn your lesson.

(as Jeff Sr. starts walking away, Jesse gets out of the pool)

Jesse: Where are you going!? Where are you going!? Come here! I'm not done with you!

(Jesse tries to dry the Xbox off with his shirt, as Terri starts reprimanding Jeff Sr. for his actions) 

Terri: You don't do that!

Jeff Sr.: What do you mean!?

Jesse: It's probably broken now!

Terri: You've made him upset! That's not going to teach him anything!

Jeff Sr.: Oh, that doesn't teach him anything, yet you spray me with a hose!

(Jesse picks up the Xbox and starts walking down the steps)

Jeffrey: Oh shit. Where did he go now?

(Jeffrey starts moving around the pool to get a better view of Jesse)

Terri: Well, you made him upset! You're ruining everything!

Jesse: You guys are all mental!

(Jesse starts walking away)

Jeff Sr.: You promised! You promised!

Jesse: I fucking hate...

Jeff Sr.: You promised!

Jesse: It's still going to work!

Jeff Sr.: You promised!

Jesse: (mocking Jeff Sr.) You promised! You promised!

(Terri continues to reprimand Jeff Sr.)

Jesse: Whatever! Hey! Hello!? Earth to your child, do you even care!?

Jeff Sr.: Uh, it's wet, what are you gonna do?

Jesse: Do you even care? Oh it's wet?

Jeff Sr.: Yeah!

Terri: You can't be treating him like that!

Jesse: It's called it's broken! It's electronic!

Jeff Sr.: I don't care!

Jesse: Fuck!

Terri: There's got to be some other way!

Jeff Sr.: You promised us something, you stick to it!

Terri: Jeff!

Jeff Sr.: What?

(Jesse sees that Jeffrey is filming him)

Jesse: And you...I swear to God, if you film one more fucking-

(Jeffrey backs away as Jesse attempts to charge at him)

Jesse: How about I get your whole fucking camera wet!? Huh!?

Jeffrey: Are you going to put...

Jesse: Yeah!?

Jeffrey: Are you gonna have a good swim with the fishies like your little Xbox there? Huh? *laughs*

(Jesse starts walking towards the garage, tossing his shirt away as he does)

Jeffrey: Aw, you're going to have to wash that! How many things of yours have gotten wet today? *laughs*

(the camera cuts to Jesse standing in front of the garage with a leaf blower, he's trying to use it to dry the Xbox off)

Jesse: Argh! How the fuck do you work this thing!?

(he continues to struggle while getting it to work)

Jesse: Start, you piece of shit!

(he gets it started, and uses it to dry the Xbox until the force of the blowing causes the Xbox to fall over)

Jesse: (panicked) Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Fuck! Fuck!

(he tries to turn the leaf blower off)

Jeffrey: Are you kidding me? *laughs*

Jesse: Shit! Turn off! How!?

(he manages to shut it off)

Jesse: Shit. Shit.

(he picks up the Xbox, and takes off one of his socks and starts wiping the Xbox with it)

Jeffrey: *chuckles*

(Jesse walks back inside the garage)

Jesse: Fuck.

(Jesse starts to slowly close the garage door while keeping a lookout outside)

Jeffrey: *laughs*

(the video ends)

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