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  • "What the hell was that all about?! Now get out of my house! GET OUT!"-Psycho Kid Smashes TV
  • "Crap! Bullshit!" (Psycho Kid Smashes TV)
  • "YO! You wanna turn the freaking light back on? I'm gonna fall and bust my ass!" (Psycho Dad Pounds Nintendo DS)
  • "You don't act right, you're not part of the family!" — Jeff Sr.'s quote prompting Jesse to aggressively further their quarrel (Psycho Kid Ruins Thanksgiving)
  • "What ails you? These games are getting into your head!" (Psycho Dad Chainsaws Xbox One)
  • "This is what they get, this is what they get! Learn your lesson, boys!"-Psycho Dad Axes Laptop
  • "You're in here 24/7! You're 23 years old and you live in your room!" (Psycho Dad Chainsaws Xbox One)
  • "This is what happens when you come into the house without permission!"
  • "You're hopeless, stinking hopeless."
  • "You're back in. I've got a deal though: You're gonna be paying rent. If you're making money, you're gonna be paying rent!"-Psycho Dad Reacts to One Million Juggies
  • "You're mine! Starting tomorrow, you're mowing lawns, you're gonna make a living! You're mine!"
  • "You're living in a tent, act like it!"
  • "You disrespected me!"
  • "This is all because the violence in video games is it, cause you do stuff like this!"
  • "We're in stinking London Jess, Come on!" (Psycho Dad Pounds Nintendo DS)
  • "You pack like a woman!"
  • "Yeah! Well you just destroyed all the trophies in our house!"
  • "Why would you give him shit? Seriously, why would you do it? We eat in here!" (Psycho Kid's Birthday Bash)
  • "I'm not worried about the walls, I'm worried about the floors!"
  • "For security."
  • "What am I supposed to do?"
  • "Why start now?"
  • "Where's my wife?"
  • "What ails you freaking people?!"
  • "It flew."
  • "Something's Wrong" (After he fell on Psycho Dad Chucks Super Nintendo)
  • "Well Peter was just going to eat Paul or whatever the hell his name is." - Referring to Jesse's pet fly Peter in Psycho Dad Chucks Super Nintendo
  • "I can't have this shit on TV!"
  • "Now you've got a mobile home, you can leave now!"
  • "Selling Psycho Dad T-Shirts has driven you crazy!"
  • "Who's the psycho now?"
  • "Come on, knock it off, just get the fuck out, get out, GET OUT."
  • "Sometimes you lay down, and you don't get back up.
  • "Don't you yell at me!"
  • "Get a job!"
  •  "..and lord I emphasize please get my son, Jesse, a job; come Monday morning, amen."
  •  "Who cares? You just embarrassed me on YouTube!"
  •  "No, I don't hit you! I don't hit you, you ought to know that."
  •  "I wouldn't set you up like that."
  •  "Own up to your stuff."
  •  "Shut the fuck up, Larry. I'm his father, you're not!"
  • "You're the only hope for the family."
  • "Yeah, I destroyed that trailer and i'm proud of it!"
  • "Don't you worry about it!"
  • "What is that bullshit?"
  • "Why the hell would you put that on there?!"
  • "Who taped and uploaded this?"
  • "Why would you do that?"
  • "Why would you do that? I take you into my family. You're over here all the time and you want to video that shit of me and my family?"
  • "Get the fuck out of my house!"
  • "Why would you put it on there? It's bullshit. Why?"
  • "He said you did. Get the hell out of my house and out of my yard!"
  • "Do you hear me?!"
  • "What the fuck? I knew you had my gun!" (Psycho Kid Kills Father)
  • "You better put that gun down and it better not be loaded, or there's going to be hell to pay!" (Psycho Kid Kills Father)
  • "Why are you filming this?" (Psycho Kid Kills Father)
  • "You don't even know how to use that gun." (Psycho Kid Kills Father)
  • "This is all about the money, isn't it?" (Psycho Kid Kills Father)
  • "Are you going to play with me?" (Psycho Kid Kills Father)
  • "There are three numbers; 86, 40, 12." (Psycho Kid Kills Father)
  • "I've failed you. I've failed you as a father." (Psycho Kid Kills Father
  • "I wish it would've been better." (Psycho Kid Kills Father)
  • "I should have never shown you those video games".
  • "Look what it made you." (Psycho Kid Kills Father)

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